As much as 80% of conversation at work contain critical comments.
Many people are uncomfortable giving and receiving appreciation.
Appreciation can have a profound impact on your life and the lives of others. Done well it can nourish relationships. It builds optimism and reduces stress.
Appreciation is about realizing that we are here to bring the best in others.
The giving of appreciation must be unconditional. If we are motivated by a payoff, it’s manipulation. The moment you use it as a tool, you become inauthentic and manipulative.
Appreciation can act like magic. People are hungry for appreciation. Appreciation restores energy and emotional balance both for the giver and receiver. Praise creates an upsurge in energy plummets when someone is criticized.
We hold appreciation for others waiting for a reason to give it or afraid that others may use it against us – “If I let him know how great he is it might go to his head. If I tell her how well she’d doing at work she’ll want more money or a promotion. This appreciation stuff is way too touchy-feely for me.”
Most of time we give other negative feedback or criticism. Appreciation can work much faster than criticism to change behaviors in others.
Think of two people whom you work closely with, or whom your success is largely dependant on. Next to their names, write down a few of their qualities you recognize as valuable. Spend time doing this and give it the thought it deserves.
Receiving appreciation. We have filters that block or deflect the appreciation we get from others. It feels uncomfortable for us and we shake it off – I don’t deserve it. It wasn’t really that big a deal. It wasn’t me that did it. Oh it was nothing.”
Can you say a simple ‘Thank You” when you receive appreciation for others and just take it in and feel it flow through you.
Parting Thought: Give the gift of appreciation to some one in your life and be open to receive appreciation from others. Aspire to work and live so that giving appreciation is simply a reflection of you own commitment to integrity and to the quality of life you want for yourself.